Hello, everyone! I am very surprised (and slightly worried) to be the first to share some of the work that I have written since we started the course. But after reading all your insightful comments in the entry challenge section, it just seems silly not to take advantage of your collective wisdom. What I am sharing is a short...something that has been simmering at the back of my mind for a while. I would greatly appreciate any comments about structure, language, storyline and anything else that comes to mind. Thank you in advance and see some of you in a bit:)
They were slowly walking down the street, dragging the brown Christmas tree behind them. Sweat was dripping from their forheads straight into their eyes making them tear up a little from all that saltiness. At the corner shop they stopped for a moment and the man went in to buy them a cold drink. The woman waited outside with the lifeless tree in one hand and a soaky handkerchief in the other. Once they got the fizzy juice, they headed towards the nearby playground to enjoy it in silence - each one imprisoned in their own boling hot nightmare. They sat on one of the two half-broken benches and took turns sipping from the slippery bottle. ... What are we going to do with that stupid tree. I don´t see any waste containers on this street. Everyone is staring at us. I hate that look of open concern and hidden relief. Why don´t they just mind their own business? We should leave. Right now. I could probably find a job in London. I have some good friends there. They will help us settle down. Especially now. Two sips It is so damn hot. Must be 30 + degrees. I told her we can keep the tree in the house for a little longer. We should probably just leave it here at the playground. It is a miserable place, anyway. No one comes here with their children anymore. Why would they? Dog shit and dirty pigeons. The tree would fit perfectly here. Yes, we should leave it here and go straight home. I already feel tired... Half a sip ... I had to get the stupid tree out of the house. It was driving me insane. If he could just stop pouting, we would get the job done. I know there is a big waste container two blocks down. It is a new one. Very nice and clean. Things are changing for the better around here. We will be fine. I have a lot of new work coming in. That would keep me busy for most of the time. He should find a job, soon. I know some friends I can call and ask for a favour. They will help us. Especially now. Three sips It is so damn hot. I told him it would be 30 + today and that we should get the tree out before noon. One sip I am getting too sweaty. We should get it over with and go straight home. I don´t want to bump into someone we know. It has been awhile but I know that some of the mothers still come here from time to time. It is not as bad as he thinks. If someone cleans it up a bit, it would be just fine. NO more sips There is so much more we have to throw away today... They stood up in silent unison and stumbled down the street past the shiny City Clinic. 12:45 22.08.2019 35 degrees - said the digital clock above the hospital´s entrance. The heavy air was penetrating their skin and stifling their lungs. They finally reached the waste container only to find it overtaken by rubbish pouring out of it in all directions and a distinct smell of rotten tomatoes circulating above it. They gently placed the tree on the side and headed straight back to where they came form. Just as they were turning the corner, he stopped for a second and took a hesitant step back. Without even blinking, she got a hold of his sweaty palm and pulled him decisively forward. There was no point going back. Not again. She knew it had to be their last atempt. 10 scorching minutes later they were home. They took their dusty shoes off, unlocked, stepped into the clean cool apartment and slammed the door behind them. Rest in peace, little Birdy. Love, Mum and Dad Christmas Day 2017 - read the black and white sign on the closed front door.